Thursday, July 31, 2008

Dreams

Last night I had the most awful dream. It seemed to last forever, and it was one where I couldn't seem to wake up from it. I dreamed that I told Josh that I was going to marry someone else--not him. It seemed that instantly, he was gone. And I never heard from him again. Suddenly, it was then my wedding day. Yet, all the plans, decorations, and my dress was the same as I'd been planning for Josh's and my wedding. I dreamed that there was a war going on outside in the area with guns and explosions. (It's a dream, it can't be too realistic!) Two of my bridesmaids weren't there. In my dream, I barely knew the man I was going to marry. We hardly spoke to each other, and I had to keep asking my mom how to pronounce my new last name. The ceremony went by very robotic, yet it was obvious there was a war going on outside. Then, things got really bad, and everyone had to leave an scramble. And it ended up that we all left and went into hiding, and I had no reception. I didn't even leave with my new husband--I went back home with my mother, and had no idea where that man was, and I kept forgetting his last name! I tried to call Josh several times, but without luck. So right as I began to wake up from this dream, I ran out of the house to go find him. And that was the end.

I know dreams sound silly when you retell them, and when you reflect on it, you typically laugh and say, "Oh my goodness!" Yet, isn't it also true that in the midst of a dream, it seems very real and has a real effect on you? That's how this dream was for me, and it was truly terrible.

Something as simple as a dream though can really get you thinking, and when I woke up with that ugly feeling in my chest, I also thought to myself about how glad I am that I AM marrying Josh, and that he's wonderful, and that we may not always get along, but we know each other and love each other. It also makes me think that no matter what could go wrong with the wedding or what difficulties I stumble across, I'm so thankful that the point is: I'm marrying a person I love. I have found love in a man, and I will be joined to him forever. That's what makes everything turn out alright. :-)



1 comment:

Amy said...

hey you!

I've been thinking a lot about you...is the wedding seeming closer? or still ages away? it is getting closer!

sounds like you were a part of an arranged married in some foreign far off war-torn country in that dream!