Sunday, October 19, 2008

Discouragement and Hope

Friday was such an interesting day for me. I woke up extra early to go into my job at the bank. It was going to be a full day and a Friday at that. Fridays at bank are like hell--for the customers and for the tellers. As I was inching my way along with the traffic in downtown South Bend, eyeing the time, I just had this random thought of, "What on earth am I doing?"

As a sociologist, I know all about the Industrial Revolution and the Protestant Work Ethic, and I can spout off to you reasons why America became a work-obsessed nation. But the day to day human inside of me still can't understand how a whole people could get sucked into this terrible lifestyle. I thought about how I am starting to live my life to work, how my soon to be husband practically lives his life to work. I thought about how my parents see each other about 5 minutes total in a day because of how much they both have to work. Struggling to turn into the parking garage, I suddenly burst out, "HOW PATHETIC!" I just could not understand WHY we allow ourselves to live like this--no matter if this is the cultural expectation or not.

Then I finally got to walk into the bank and I looked at my coworkers and silently thought, "You're nice people, but I'm getting tired of you!" It wasn't them personally, it was just the concept of how much time I spend working. I looked at my manager and thought, "I will see you today more than I will see my fiance. There is just something dreadfully wrong about that."

I'm not saying these things as a lazy person or someone trying to get out of work. I thought about Europe and that sacred tea time or siesta where the businesses shut down and families get to go home for about 2 hours and just rest and be with their spouses and children. As my day droned on with cash counting and explaining overdrafts, I thought about how wonderful it would be if America was more like Europe. I think my days would be so much less stressful if I could hug my Josh and share a cup of tea with him halfway through. But then I also thought about how far away everything in America is now. It's not like the nice segmented villages where you can walk to every house and business you need. I take a 20 minute drive to work and a 30 minute drive to school into another state every day. How desperately I wish it was a 20 minute walk instead.

I've spent my morning looking at various job openings in the area. I'm about ready to graduate, and although I don't have 3-5 years experience, maybe some compassionate soul will let me into a professional position to get that experience. I actually submitted a resume to a local social service agency. There's a couple positions that I might be qualified for (minus the preferred experience.) It would be nice to work in a social service position. You never know--anything could happen.

On the upside, my weekend in Ft Wayne was really really wonderful. Josh and I were really blessed by a wonderful shower from his side of the family. Once again, I felt humbled by the generousness of family and friends helping us prepare for our marriage. Aunt Julia and Jodi decorated the shower so cute too--all in pink! I'll post pictures of it later. We also went out for Jeremy's (my future brother in law) birthday to this great Thai restaurant where I had this fantastic rice/tofu/coconut milk/peanut sauce dish that was sweet, but also so hot it made my mouth and lips BURN.

Mmmmm I cant wait to go apple picking. I want to can homemade applesauce for Josh and I to have through the winter.

1 comment:

cat m. said...

gurl, that is hard.

I hope you get that social service job. ^_^